How To Get Ex Back Tips

Did you know that over 70% of couples that break up can actually get back together? It’s true! Even though the break up advice in the following article is very good, what do you do if you want to try and reconcile with your ex? There is a critical time period in which to act if you want to get back with your ex. A good place to find out about it is at Getting Over A Break Up

Break Up Advice

Breaking up can be an overwhelming emotional experience for both the person doing the breaking up and the person being broken up with. If you find yourself in a situation in which you are being broken up with, it is important to know how to handle yourself to make the breaking up process as easy as possible.

First of all, know that the break up is not your fault. It’s not anyones fault. Breaking up happens to many couples everyday, it is very common. But trying to point the finger of blame at anyone will only result in creating feelings of resentment in yourself or your ex.

Try and stay calm and allow the break up to occur, do not try and stop it. Many people use the common method of the guilt trip to convince their partner to stay. This never works in the long run as it will ultimately lead to your partner developing feelings of resentment towards you and will ruin any possibility of maintaining a friendship.

It is very common for people to believe that something is wrong with them after someone leaves them. If you find you are thinking this, please remind yourself that this is not the case.The break up is not your fault! It’s happened because something was not right with the relationship itself – there is nothing wrong with you.

The feelings a person will experience after a break up will vary from person to person, depending on how an individual handles loss. Many people will feel numb and may deny the loss has even occurred. Eventually these people become angry and distressed, before becoming depressed. The level of depression may vary from slight, to the extreme case of having suicidal thoughts. If you are even considering harming yourself in any way, please get some help. Talk to a trusted friend, counsellor or family member about your feelings.

Some people will move straight to the angry phase, where you blame yourself or your partner for the breakup. If there has been cheating, you may even blame a third party. If you are experiencing these feelings during a break up, don’t worry. You are completely normal. It is important to allow these feelings to surface, let yourself be mad, however make sure you do it in the right way in the right environment.

Cry on the shoulder of a friend or scream into your pillow. Just don’t take your anger out on your ex-partner or their new partner (if any). Even if you feel that they have done something to deserve this, in the end the degree of satisfaction you obtain from taking your anger out on them will be short lived and will only result in you looking petty. Be the bigger person, allow your sadness and grief to come, feel your way through it and remember, there is a light at the end of every tunnel.

Are there really words to get your ex back? Maybe. If you have been terrorizing your ex with phone calls, text messages, or just turning up at the same places they hang around, then you have probably figured out that these tactics are not working. In fact, you may be entering the “nuisance” zone as far as your ex is concerned.

So, what else can you do? Take a deep breath and let your body relax, because I’m going to give you a tip that can start to smooth things over with your ex and so you can begin the process of getting your ex back.

You need to communicate with your ex. But NOT over the phone OR by text message.

Try a simple, hand written letter. It’s not going to be long, so don’t worry if you haven’t written an essay since high school. What you want to communicate in your letter is a tone of cool calmness…not freaked out anger, blame, bitterness or self pity. None of these attitudes are cool, and they are actually very unattractive, right?

So, let’s set out what you are going to put in this letter:

1. Let your ex know that you are (now)okay with the break up.

2. Agree that it was the right thing to do. (I know this goes against everything your mind and heart is screaming right now, but trust me, you NEED to say this…and say it calmly and rationally.)

3. If you did something “bad ” like cheat, (or let down all the tires on their car after the breakup…I hope you didn’t!) apologize briefly. (key being briefly…just say “sorry for…”). Again, don’t go into long explanations or details.

4. Tell them something really great happened in your life and you would like to tell them about it sometime. (key, not ‘soon’ or ‘next week’ but ‘sometime’…this leaves the door ajar for future comminication without pressuring them into a time frame.) Also, their curiosity will be aroused wondering what it is that happened. If you can’t think of anything great, then make something up…just something little like winning a raffle at work or at your brother’s sports club, etc.

5. Let them know that you want to give them time to themselves for a while. This can give them a huge sigh of relief if you have been constantly calling or texting them. It also puts you in a more undestanding and reasonable light…which is much more attractive!

6. Lastly, close your little letter by saying “Maybe at some point we can be friends.” Again, this leaves the avenues of comminications open without comming across as needy, clingy or overly hopeful.

Remember, the idea is to have a cool, calm tone.

That’s it! Just remember to hand write your letter. It’s much more personal and shows you have taken the time and care to write rather than simply blast off a text. A letter can also be carried around in a pocket to be read over again and again in a quiet moment. A letter says “personal” far more than any text message or phone call ever can.

This letter sets the stage for your next moves…

For the complete step by step guide to getting your ex back, CLICK HERE